I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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