Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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