So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
