Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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