ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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