if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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