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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
where are my eyebrows?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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