I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
