I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
