Is it normal to miss your booty call?
even my farts smell like vagina
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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