Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize