I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
