That's when you crack a 10am beer
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
