if you like me you must not know who I am
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize