Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
