i barfeds in our rink
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
