my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize