Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize