Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
