so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
