i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
not ubering you a puppy
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