Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
