I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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