i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize
