If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
