His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
