we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize