I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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