i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
