You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
