If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
