He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
