so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
it glows. i had to have it.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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