weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm jealous of your bromance
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
