Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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