No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
