That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
