All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize