he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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