Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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