I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
