its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
