Its about making memories worth repressing
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
