Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
