Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
