Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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