Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
someone owes me an orgasm
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
