Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Is Oprah even human
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
