she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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