plz talk dirty to me
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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