Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
