Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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