there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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