Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize