Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You made out with two different species that night
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
