I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
