i need an iv and a liver transplant
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
