I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
A bitchslap is in order.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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