You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
