he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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