it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
